What to Do When Your Christian Family Rejects You for Being Gay, Part 1

Tyler Lehmann:

Excited to share that after a long hiatus, I’m returning to blogging, but at a new blog I’ve launched called EN(GAY)GE. This is a project I’m very excited about, as I’m hoping to partner with other LGBT Millennials in sharing our stories and opinions. If you’d like to stay in the loop, please follow this new blog, as that’s where I’ll be posting going forward. Thank you!

Originally posted on EN(GAY)GE:

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post contains strong language.

“I’d have rather heard you’d murdered someone.”

Of all the possible words from which a mother could choose in reacting to her son coming out to her, those were the ones mine chose, and I will never forget that for as long as I live.

Another part of that night I’ll never forget is my father hurling names at me like “cock-sucker” and “fudge-packer,” along with a host of other colorful expletives, while physically pinning me down.

I was 16, and I had just experienced the beginning of the end. The years that followed marked the slow and steady decline of the Lehmann family, every conflict putting more and more weight on our relationship until finally it buckled under the pressure and altogether ceased to exist.

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Catch You on the Flip Side

coming soon

The Greek philosopher Epictetus once said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

But lately, I’ve been doing a whole lot of speaking and precious little listening. That is why I’ve decided to spend some time away from this blog.

This decision hasn’t been easy to make — blogging has been nothing if not a positive experience for me. Every post has gotten me closer to experiencing myself in full bloom.

From the inception of this blog, I’ve sought to share myself and my beliefs in hopes of making one little corner of the world a better place to be. Nothing about that goal has changed. Continue reading Catch You on the Flip Side

Thanks, But No Thanks: Gays Really Don’t Need You Condemning Us to Hell

pray the gay away

So I’ve been pretty candid about my faith and sexuality lately on this blog: I sounded off on religious homophobia, raised some questions about gender, shared about coming out to my family, and even made confessions about my failing love life.

All things considered, I feel pretty good about opening up. I’m not the sort of person who likes hiding my thoughts. But unfortunately, that isn’t to say it’s been easy telling the truth.

In the wake of these revealing posts, a number of my personal acquaintances have begun expressing concern over my beliefs, and I think the time has come for me to clear the air. Continue reading Thanks, But No Thanks: Gays Really Don’t Need You Condemning Us to Hell

How a Gay Student Goes to an LGBT Club and Ends Up Eating Crow

gay diversity tolerance college

The more you learn, the dumber you feel. That’s the best way to sum up my first experience at a large university LGBT student organization.

I wound up there innocently enough. Basically, it was an attempt to find some social interaction. You see, I recently left my former school to take some time off from college, and it turns out I miss constant contact with others my age a lot more than I thought I would.

Fortunately, the members of this group didn’t mind at all that an outsider was crashing their party. They welcomed me right in.

Now before I tell you why the meeting made me feel like a complete Neanderthal, let me give you a little background on myself. There was an LGBT group at my previous school, but since I went to pretty much the dinkiest college you’ve never heard of, it was a relatively homogenous club. Continue reading How a Gay Student Goes to an LGBT Club and Ends Up Eating Crow

5 Things to Find in Yourself Before You Find a Relationship

romantic gay kiss

I like to think I’m a fairly level-headed person. The best approach to problem-solving, after all, is to think rationally. At least, that’s what I tell myself whenever I’m trying to help my friends make sense of their lives. So why is it so difficult to follow that advice when it’s my own life?

I guess what I’m trying to say is, love stinks.

Without going into all the details, I just reached the end of a brief (almost) relationship with a guy I really thought I was into. When I found out he wanted to stay “just friends,” it was a hard blow.

You see, I’ve been wanting (read: desperate) to start a relationship for a long time. And when the possibility finally presented itself, I threw caution to the wind and allowed myself to get attached way too quickly. Continue reading 5 Things to Find in Yourself Before You Find a Relationship

The Peace of Coming Out to Family and How to Do It

coming out to family

I am not the sort of person who likes to keep secrets. If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, that probably comes as no surprise. The reason I hate secrets so much is they are the most isolating thing in the world. Knowing something that someone else doesn’t is like standing on opposite sides a of a brick wall. And personally, I’ve had it with walls.

This is a conclusion I’ve reached after taking a break from college and moving down to Arkansas to live with family for a bit. Going from school, where all my close friends knew about my sexuality, to Arkansas, where my family didn’t have the slightest idea, was exponentially harder than I thought it would be. Continue reading The Peace of Coming Out to Family and How to Do It

Freshly Pressed Follow-Up: To the Author of ‘7 Reasons Jesus Was Gay’


To everyone reading, thank you so much for visiting my little blog! (or, as a friend of mine pointed out, my formerly little blog) I am absolutely honored beyond belief that my post To the author of ‘7 Reasons Jesus Was Gay’ has been selected for the WordPress.com Freshly Pressed editors’ picks.

The Story Behind the Post

Truth be told, this post was by far the fastest and easiest one I’ve ever written. You see, after reading Thought Catalog’s unbelievably indignant article 7 Reasons Jesus Was Gay, it just flowed out of me.

The ironic part is, I came very close to not publishing it. As someone who grew up going to church, who studied at a Christian college, who was employed as a Bible camp counselor, I am definitely losing some popularity because of my opinions on Christianity and homosexuality. Continue reading Freshly Pressed Follow-Up: To the Author of ‘7 Reasons Jesus Was Gay’


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